


Blueberry Muffins

by amidtheflowers



Series: Darcyland April Fools Challenge [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: April Fools Fic, Crack, F/M, Smut, it is what it is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-04
Updated: 2017-04-04
Packaged: 2018-10-14 17:29:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10541166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amidtheflowers/pseuds/amidtheflowers
Summary: Darcy finds a puppy, and he sees some things maybe he shouldn't see.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hellooo! 
> 
> This is Day 3 of the DLAF Smut Challenge: **Sex While A Pet Is In The Room**. I regret nothing. Nothing! 
> 
> Enjoy! xxxxx

Something they never mention when working inside the Avengers Tower is the elevators. That high speed, zoom-zoom action Darcy remembered from those Stark expos and ads? Not applicable to 99% of the Tower. What it _does_ apply to is Tony’s private elevator, and Darcy still hadn’t figured out the keycode rewiring—so here she was, in the pedestrian one. Crawling upwards slowly.

Not that it mattered. Not really. Darcy was fine. There was no reason spending five lines in a narrative thought process complaining about elevators. Because it wasn’t so much the elevator than it was the slow ascent up, up, up to the residential floor, giving Darcy far too much time to second guess her very slow journey up. As well as the basket in her hand, with a flower linen cloth draped over the top.

Or that the door she was about to knock on—rather, the _owner_ of said door—had afforded her many sleepless nights, ghost in her dreams, and currentlypossiblymaybe was two inches from officially dating.

Just simple stuff.

The elevator door finally slid open and Darcy hefted the wicker basket on her arm. God, this could be a disaster. _Or it could be exactly what you’ve been hoping for_ , a little voice reminded Darcy in the back of her mind. Darcy squashed the hopeful thought before it got too excited.

Darcy halted when she heard a series of thuds coming down the other end of the hallway. She turned to where it was coming from and let out a short scream when she was nearly run over by two hundred pounds of solid muscle.

“Shit!” Steve skidded to a halt, sidestepping Darcy just in time. Darcy clutched her hand to her chest, staring at Steve incredulously.

“Jesus! Are you okay?” Darcy asked.

Steve shook his head, panting. “Have you seen Bucky?”

“No…I was just going to see him now. Is he not in his suite?”

Steve looked away distractedly. “If you see him…anything, let me know immediately.”

“Sure thing, Cap,” Darcy said, looking at him oddly as he nodded and sprinted along the other side of the hallway. Darcy looked forlornly at the basket in her right hand. “Guess these were a waste, then.”

Sighing, Darcy made to turn for the elevator when she heard a very distinctive _boof_.

She paused. Standing by Bucky’s door, where it definitely had not been mere seconds ago, was a dog. A Border Collie puppy, to be exact. One that was watching Darcy very intently, and doing that tiny, shaky movement where it wanted to come closer but wasn’t sure if it wanted to.

“Hey, little fella,” Darcy smiled, taking a tiny step forward before kneeling. “You lost?”

The puppy gave another _boof_ , this time a little grumpier, but slowly crept forward anyway. Darcy held her hand out and he took sniff, before peering up at Darcy and placing his paw on Darcy’s hand.

“Aww! Hello there!” Darcy shook his paw and automatically reached over to give him a gentle scratch behind the ears. She smiled when the puppy closed his eyes and wagged his tail. “Aren’t you a smart boy? How did you get up here, huh?” Darcy glanced around, but saw no sign where the little guy came from. He had a collar with no name on it, but had the definitive Stark Industries logo embossed on a shiny Iron Man medallion. “You’re Tony’s, then? You don’t look like you’re part of the labs…huh.”

The dog responded by sniffing the cloth over Darcy’s basket. “Right, these,” Darcy lifted the cloth and sighed at the basket full of freshly baked blueberry muffins sitting inside. “I made them for a friend of mine, but apparently he’s missing and not at his apartment. Guess they’re all mine now.”

The puppy tilted its head inquisitively, as if actually considering her words. Darcy idly scratched the underside of his jaw, muttering, “Let this be a lesson to you, pup. Don’t try baking goods for a mister friend in hopes of getting in his pants. Totally doesn’t reap any reward in the end.”

The puppy made a small, helpless whine, and began nipping at his collar—or he tried to, and was failing miserably as he couldn’t quite reach it. Darcy grinned. “You wanna come with me? I’ll try figuring out where your home is.” The puppy exhaled a sigh, looking at Darcy with the saddest puppydog eyes she’d ever seen, before sticking his little head in the basket and chomped on a blueberry muffin.

“Hey!” The puppy swallowed quickly and gave Darcy a smug look. Wait, could all pups look this smug? “I should’ve known. You’re trouble.” Darcy smiled. “I like it.” The puppy gave a happy yip and started trotting alongside Darcy as they made for the elevator.

-

-

“Darcy?”

“Hm?”

Jane’s voice was unsure. “There’s a dog in the pantry.”

Darcy smiled, looking up from her book. “Yeah, I found him a few hours ago. No one seems to know where he’s come from, so I’m gonna ask Stark himself later. Little guy was getting a bit worn out.”

As if sensing the conversation in the living room was about him, the puppy came trotting out of the kitchen and leapt onto the couch, settling next to Darcy. “Isn’t he adorable?”

The puppy turned to look up at her, giving Darcy an unamused look. “Sorry, I meant handsome. So very, dashingly handsome.”

Satisfied, the puppy rested his head on his paws again.

“Wow, he’s smart.” Jane peered closer at them. “What’s wrong with his left paw?”

“I don’t know, I found him this way,” Darcy ran her finger along the gray left foreleg, tracing down to the paw. It felt different, almost synthetic. “He’s probably a rescue. Stark must’ve built him a prosthetic or something.”

The puppy huffed and tried gnawing off the collar again. “Hey, quit it,” Darcy moved him away from the collar. The puppydog eyes came back. “I know, I know. I have no idea what kind of tech that is or if it’s safe to take it off. Tomorrow, okay?”

The puppy sighed, resigned, and watched Netflix with Darcy and Jane for the rest of the evening.

No, not _watched_. He observed. Puppies couldn’t understand televisions.

-

-

Jane left for the night, staying over Thor’s suite instead. The apartment was blissfully empty, save Darcy’s new canine companion.

“Okay bud,” Darcy stepped back from the little bed she’d made. “This is all yours. I got you the best of the best. Sleep well, okay? Darcy’s just gonna go to her room and have some serious TLC now that she’s got the whole place to herself.” Darcy looked into the puppy’s eyes, remarkably blue. Darcy sighed. “God, I wish Bucky was here. He hasn’t answered his phone all day…”

The puppy whined, pressing his paw to Darcy’s leg with a pleading look. Darcy forced a smile. “I know, I’m being boring. Making out a few times doesn’t guarantee a reply to a text, apparently. Welp. I’m going to bed.”

Darcy padded to her room and gently pushed against the door, hearing it creak but not fully closing.

She hadn’t been joking when she was talking to the puppy—it was a rare night when Darcy had the place to herself, and it made having a night like this easier on her mind, knowing she had total and complete privacy. Quickly slipping out of her clothes, Darcy fluffed up her hair and lit a few scented candles, setting the mood.

She settled back against the pillows, adjusting her hips on the mattress so she was propped up just right. She let her hands trail along her skin, one hand teasing her breast, the other inching further down. God, she’d really been hoping the blueberry muffins would’ve worked. They’d been joking about it on their last date, a _terrible_ joke and one that had given Darcy the impression she and Bucky were heading for a serious direction.

Darcy shook her head. No point thinking about that right now. She was going to lose her momentum, and what Darcy really, really wanted right now was to get off.

Several minutes passed of Darcy clearing her head, letting herself enjoy the feel of her fingers on her skin, imagining it differently, letting herself get lost in the sensation until her breath started catching as the pleasure built.

A soft moan slipped from her lips as she grazed her clit, reaching down to gather the wetness below and swirling it over again. She tilted her hips, almost impatiently, as she stroked and teased, wondering, imagining, wanting the fingers to be thicker, the pads of the skin rougher, with deep blue eyes peering into hers as he sank his fingers inside her—

“ _Mmm_ ,” Darcy arched a little, not noticing the bedroom door creak open, her mind hazy with building pleasure as she let her legs fall open wider, wondering what it would be like with him touching her instead, her thighs resting over his shoulders. “Oh… _fuck_ , Bucky…”

This time she heard the creak, and the thump that accompanied it. Darcy peeled her eyes open and saw the yellow-orange glow from the candles cast light on the puppy, who was watching her, transfixed.

“Ugh, puppy… _oh my god_ , puppy!” Darcy watched in horror as the puppy frantically tried biting off the collar, growling angrily and twisting this way and that. She scrambled off the bed to stop him, grabbing the collar and tearing it off. “Jesus! Happy now?”

At least, that is what Darcy _meant_ to say before a cloud _poof_ ed where the puppy was, and Bucky Barnes now stood in the puppy’s place.

Darcy’s jaw fell open. Bucky was staring at her, intensely, looking at Darcy like he was restraining himself and not launching himself at her. Darcy glanced at the collar she was still holding, then looked back at Bucky.

“So…Stark?”

“Yep. Hello, Darcy.” His voice was low, almost a deep growl. Her lady parts were in super trouble.

Darcy swallowed. “Hey Bucky. How much, um…”

“Did I hear? Did I see?” His eyes flickered over her, and Darcy realized she was standing there, buck nude. No pun intended. “Is that what you were going to ask me?”

“Yes. I mean, I was, but…” Darcy exhaled loudly, feeling hotter the longer she stared at him, and she could feel the energy crackling between them. “Oh, fuck it.”

Their lips crashed together, walking backwards to the bed until Darcy fell back against it. She arched into Bucky, grinding against him and swallowing his answering groan. She helped him strip quickly before he paused, peering over her.

“Are you okay with this?”

“Bucky. I was just masturbating to the thought of you. I’m pretty sure I’m okay with this.”

Bucky grinned, kissing her deeply before pulling away and fixing her with a serious look. “Then let’s be clear on one thing. You and me? We’re dating. Boyfriend, girlfriend, the whole fucking tin. I’m sorry if that wasn’t clear enough before.”

“Awesome,” Darcy grinned back, tugging him into a deep kiss before he pulled away again, settling back on his haunches and grabbing Darcy by the hips. She felt a thrill go inside her as Bucky settled her onto her hands and knees, running his fingers down her back. They sighed together as Bucky slid inside, gripping Darcy’s hips firmly as he began to rock into her.

Already keyed up from earlier, Darcy felt her breath coming in shorter and shorter gasps as Buck snapped his hips into hers. She felt him reach over and tease at her, increasing his pace as Darcy moaned loudly and trembled against him, until finally she felt the taut string snap inside her. Her arms gave out as she panted against the sheets, and Bucky gave a loud groan before climaxing as well.

Breathless and giddy, Darcy peered at him from where he collapsed next to her. “You know,” she started, “You make a really cute puppy. I’m thinking of getting a Border Collie of my own now.”

Bucky snorted, shaking his head. “Don’t even start with me, Lewis.”

“Hm, you’re right. We still have the collar.” Darcy frowned. “Why _did_ Tony give that to you?”

Bucky shrugged, tucking a strand of hair behind Darcy’s ear. “Some kind of shitty April Fool’s joke.”

**Author's Note:**

> Puppy!Bucky is totally Borky Barnes. He even makes the _bork! bork!_ sound, I promise.


End file.
